The potty regression technique

The potty regression technique

Nappies might have seemed like a thing of the past with your toddler or pre-schooler, until a big lifestyle change came along. Starting at a new nursery, moving to a new house and, above all, getting a new baby brother or sister, can send older children right back to the baby stage. You might find they become clingy and less independent, and they may rediscover babyish habits they’d outgrown.

Step 1: Find out why

Ask your child why he doesn’t want to use his potty or the toilet. It’s possible something might have happened to him while using them – perhaps he got scared because he nearly fell off the toilet or lost his balance getting up from the potty and fell over; or it may be that while you were using a public toilet the auto-flush came on before he’d finished. There could also be a physical reason – is he constipated or has he had a recent attack of constipation that could have made pooing uncomfortable?

Step 2: Don’t be negative

Since your child may well have regressed to get more of your attention, he won’t care what form it takes – even negative attention is attention. Clear up any accidents without comment and as quickly as you can so that you’re not rewarding him for what he’s done.

Step 3: Reinforce potty training

After you’ve cleaned up, sit your child on his potty or the toilet to reinforce the fact that it’s what he should have done in the first place. Remind him too: “When you need to go  to the potty, you have to come to the bathroom – it’s your job to do that so we don’t have accidents”. This way you underline the fact that its his responsibility.

Step 4: Make him feel like a big boy

If the regression is linked to a new baby in the family, stress the differences between him and his new brother or sister – “You’re my big boy, it’s so nice you can be such great company for me when all the baby does is cry and sleep” or  "Llook at this mess Ella made in her nappy – I’m so glad you’re a big boy and you can go on the potty”. Give him the attention he craves, but give it to him for his big-boy habits. Remember all the praise and attention you gave him when he first learned to use the potty? Try doing that again: “Wow, you’re so clever you can use the potty instead of a nappy.  I wish Ella was that smart”.

Step 5: Be consistent

Don’t be tempted to go back to nappies or pull-ups with your child. It’ll just confuse him at a time when you want to reinforce a skill you know he has already learnt.