The Off the Hip Technique

Encouraging Independence

Clingy children will stick close by you, so close in fact that it’s hard to avoid carrying them around all the time, which just increases their dependency.

Weaning your little one off your hip might just be a question of thinking ahead and offering her options. So if she always asks to be picked up at the top of the stairs, encourage her to walk down holding your hand, rather than being carried. If you’re in the kitchen, consider putting her on a steady stool by a surface with something safe to entertain her. That way, she can be on your level without being on your hip. If all else fails, these steps might help your child understand when you can and cannot carry her.

Steps to stop your child demanding to be carried

• Crouch down so you’re on her level.
• If your child is clinging to you, gently put some space between you and her.
• Look her in the eye, and calmly ask her to stop crying. Continue with what you were doing.
• If she continues to cry, explain that you can’t hear what she’s trying to tell you because she’s crying. This is the hard part and it’s difficult to resist when your child cries to be cuddled. Firmly but gently emphasize that you’re still there if she needs you, even though you’re not picking her up.
• Once your child has calmed down, give her plenty of praise and a hug, but don’t pick her up.

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