One to One Bonding

Make one-to-one time for each other

When brothers and sisters fight constantly it can be upsetting for them and a noisy nightmare for you. It could help for them to get more alone-time with you…

All children benefit from individual attention from their parents, but as a family you may need to schedule individual time with each other to help you bond as a unit. You may find that the dominant child responds well to having structured ‘Mum and Dad time’ in place, too.

How the technique works:

• Fit one-to-one time into your Family Routine two or three days a week.
• If you have two or more children, tell each child that they will have twenty minutes to do whatever they want with you; then it will be their brother or sister’s turn. Use a clock that is visible to everyone to prove this is fair, and mark twenty minutes on the clock with a sticker for younger children.
• Start with the youngest child the first time, then the oldest the next time. If one of the other children interrupts, make it clear that you are not playing with them at the moment and use a reward system if necessary.
• Once the twenty minutes is up, gently but firmly tie up your activity and move on to the next child.

What else might help?

Try rewarding your child with time alone with him or her, for example, if she keeps her room tidy all week, you'll take her swimming on her own. If this is working well, you might think about offering an outing or some time alone as a reward on their Reward Chart.