2 April 2007
I sometimes feel a little useless towards Raenie. This last week he has been in a peculiar mood; a little spiteful. Aspergers children find it hard to vocalise their feelings - he just says he feels angry inside, but he doesn't know why. I don’t know how it makes him feel, but I feel lost and can only shed a secret tear for him. I wish I could be him for one day then perhaps I could communicate better. Raenie is a lost soul at times.
He had a day off this week to chill out - one of the only ways I know how to help him. He had some rather large bruises on his leg from school, but knowing Raenie he gives as good as he gets. I think they were kicking each other under the table at lunch. He has a friend at school who can sometimes be over-powering, but this just makes Raenie withdraw further into his shell. After his chill out day he was back to his old self and as amusing as ever. I hope it lasts.
His brother Nick’s girlfriend Mimi was visiting from New York and he kept saying, "She never sleeps! She never sleeps." We didn't twig until he tried to explain - "New York, the city that never sleeps!" We all fell about laughing, in the nicest possible way of course.
The other day he was watching Spongebob tell Patrick he was a nutcase. I asked Raenie what he thought a nutcase was. He said a case full of nuts. Well... ask a silly question!
As a baby we had a nightly ritual with him. He used to poo and wipe it everywhere. His cot, the wall etc. One night he even managed to escape from his cot and enter his older brother’s room and smother his electric guitar. Not only did we have to shower Raenie, but I was showering an electric guitar at 3am – desperately hoping I wasn’t damaging the guitar.
Raenie was like an escapologist. He could get himself out of his babygrow and sleepsuit even though I had put baby safety pins in places I thought he couldn’t reach. Yet he always managed it and when he didn’t poo (which wasn’t often), he would be laying asleep naked. He looked like a little piglet in a pen.
Aspergers children are hard work, but we would never change him. He is a delightful little boy and a joy to have as part of our family.