26 September 2007
So what's yours? I don't mean what niggles you a bit or what would make your daily routine a bit more bearable, but what would really REALLY be a living Hell for you, were you subjected to it 24/7? Takes a bit of thought, eh? I have to admit that even if I'd been commissioned to think up a more onerous situation for ds1, it couldn't have been more perfectly awful than it is now...
You see he's one of nature's chatterboxes. I guess that's the way his grandma would describe him. I mean all kids ask lots of questions but he simply DOES NOT SHUT UP. In a nice way of course, but full-on, high-volume 'engage me!' chatter from the very second he gets up till the moment he finally crashes. And now what? With the kids in the bilingual nursery happier speaking to each other in German and with dp stuck in Sweden trying to get some data, he's left with just me to talk to. I try to keep up but I'm simply not programmed to speak that much.
In the beginning he'd try with the other kids. He'd walk up to them and natter on just as he has done a million times in playgrounds in London. But some kids sniggered, others looked at him as if he were from Mars and one poor kid burst into tears (?!) and now ds1 doesn't bother. He sits alone at the side of the park playing his little games with himself and it's just about breaking my heart!
Exploring a little, I find I'm extremely uncomfortable with this whole 'making friends' business as well. I know ds1 needs some kids he can speak English to (and sharpish) and we have met a couple of mums I reckon would be good to hang out with. But the only ex-pats mother's group I've been to had that same awful, desperate randomness of an NCT postnatal group, only distilled. No one had a thing in common (apart from us being all terribly lonely and eager to go through the motions), it was a terrible, depressing slog which reminded me strangely of sixth form. Stepping outside the hall where we met my feet felt floaty light. Now that's never a good sign. The next meet is tomorrow and I can already fell myself making my inner excuses. Ugh.
Just read Victoria Samuel's piece on how to keep your cool and the bit about reducing stressful moments rang particularly true. If only ds2's teeth would all grow at once I might get more than 4 consecutive hours sleep and be able to keep my temper for whole minutes at a time!
Onward and upward...