One to One Bonding

Supernanny's methods are a combination of practical experience and expert advice, giving you the support and confidence to be at your best when your kids need you most. In families where there are siblings, the One to One Technique has been used on the show to make sure each child benefits from individual attention...

Make one-to-one time for each other

When brothers and sisters fight constantly it can be upsetting for them and a noisy nightmare for you. It could help for them to get more alone-time with you…

All children benefit from individual attention from their parents, but as a family you may need to schedule individual time with each other to help you bond as a unit. You may find that the dominant child responds well to having structured ‘Mum and Dad time’ in place, too.

How the technique works:

  • Fit one-to-one time into your Family Routine two or three days a week.
  • If you have two or more children, tell each child that they will have twenty minutes to do whatever they want with you; then it will be their brother or sister’s turn. Use a clock that is visible to everyone to prove this is fair, and mark twenty minutes on the clock with a sticker for younger children.
  • Start with the youngest child the first time, then the oldest the next time. If one of the other children interrupts, make it clear that you are not playing with them at the moment and use a reward system if necessary.
  • Once the twenty minutes is up, gently but firmly tie up your activity and move on to the next child.

What else might help?

Try rewarding your child with time alone with him or her, for example, if she keeps her room tidy all week, you'll take her swimming on her own. If this is working well, you might think about offering an outing or some time alone as a reward on their Reward Chart.

Related links

Family Routine: As seen on the Supernanny show, setting up a Family Routine may help your family use time more effectively.

The Reward Chart: Positive attention and praise are the most effective rewards for good behaviour, and the Reward Chart is a useful way to reinforce good behaviour on the spot.

Superstars Reward Charts:Saying ‘Well done’ to your child is the very best way to promote good behaviour. Download for free one of Supernanny’s ready-made Reward Charts.

Sibling rivalry - how to go from foe to friend: There will be times when you’re less of a parent and more of a referee in your kids’ ongoing quest for supremacy over their sibling. Is there anything you can do to help them get on with each other

Forum: Share advice on this and other parenting topics in our discussion forum.

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