Things I'm avoiding doing by Rhianon

Things I’m avoiding doing (numbers 1-5)

1) Writing this blog.

[advert:mpu]Wow, the excuses I’ve made to myself are totally incredible. This morning I was even scrubbing out the bin thinking about how busy I was and how I had no time to write. How crazy is that? I have dumped the bin outside and scuttled in to do this now as penance for my procrastination. Here are my excuses:the wedding took some doing. And since then we’ve been sick – all of us, one by one. I’ve been putting it off because I’m so late.

2) Telling my husband (see, I got married!) and sons that I sometimes eat their favourite friends.

We’re vegetarian. Dp, son 1 and son 2 have never knowingly eaten anything that had a face in their lives, I became veggie at 14. But in all honesty, sometimes when I’m away from my wardens I do pick up a prawn sandwich or quietly and deliciously scoff a bit of salmon. Now this would not go down at all well, especially with dp. He’s an oceanographer and the beasties of the sea really are some of his finest and best friends in the world. I’m putting it off because I’d be A Big Disappointment, and because I’m a terrific liar.

3) Dealing with my athletes foot.

Ugh. Do you really wanna know? It’s absolutely entrenched, and anti-fungals only work when I wash the foot and my shoe in rubbing alcohol twice a day to get rid of the spores. Ugh. Now you can see how useless I’d be if I ever had anything really medically wrong with me that needs treating. I’m putting this one off because I don’t know the word for ‘rubbing alcohol’ in German (oh, and because I’m too darn lazy to do anything twice a day for two weeks).

4) Buy Christmas presents. 

Every year! How long doesn this have to go on?! Don’t seem to be able to buy anyone anything they really love and can’t face trekking a whole heap of pressies back from Germany via Hell Air to dp’s mom’s, which is where we’re spending it this year. I’m avoiding also looking at my bank balance, as weddings are expensive things and this year we’re skinterello.

5) Changing the bed sheets.

I just never seem to get around to this. The cot gets done on a [sniff] more or less weekly basis but the beds are a bloody faff and I always seem to think of something else before I get around to doing them. Handily there are is a ton of nasty administrative items waiting to topple on me so there’s always a valid excuse. Also have you ever tried changing the sheets in the top bunk of a bunk bed? This has to be one of parentings most treacherous moments and I just don’t feel like risking life and limb without at safety net at 9.15 on a Wednesday morning. I’m putting this off because I’m a terrible housewife. 

How cathartic was that?! Hello, clean conscience - it's been too long!!!

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