Viva la revoltion by Roy

Things I now know about long haul flights and holidays in Cuba.


The flight

  • 2 year-olds will continue to not look at the lovely books you’ve bought for them at great expense and will prefer playing with, and then splaying everywhere the delectable airline meal and related packaging. Oops

  • Asking for bulkhead seats whilst pleading and offering a pained “please, if only for my sanity” look works surprisingly well.  Note: plonking angelic child on check in desk helps with this ploy. Clever daddy.

[advert:mpu]The holiday

  • Mosquito’s are not just for Christmas, chums. Oh no. and they like nothing better than delicious 5-course meals of mini-limbs almost as much as maxi ones. Moy Mal.

  • Scratching is contagious 

  • Swimming with dolphins is highly recommended, although prolonged treading of water whilst applying intricate pat-pat with 2 year-old in arm can be rather tiring, even for the generously muscled and honed daddy.

  • Chasing shade is the new black 

  • Sea water is “isgusting” lizards are “nice” “that way” is always the complete opposite of where you need to go.

The Return flight.

  • 2 year-olds are not allowed to sleep in the nice comfortable, spacious bit at the foot of the bulkhead. Unless you tuck them with a blanket and a pillow when the airplane lights are dimmed. Although doing this would never do.

  • Next time: Wasn’t our Indian summer just the best? And probably other stuff



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