What does being a mum mean to you?
It’s probably not something you think about much, but what does it mean to be a mum? Sue Atkins asks the questions, and explains why we all need some "me" time
What does being a Mum really mean to you?
It’s not something you probably think about much on a daily basis but I think it’s quite important, so grab a cup of coffee and a pen and have fun writing out a job description for the vacancy of being a Mum - don’t leave anything out!
- Days per week
- Number of years
- Think of the jobs you have to do
- Think of the skills you need
Now write out your job description
Did what you wrote surprise you? Would you still apply?
Being a Mum is a full-time job whether you are a single, working or stay at home mother. It is a busy, frenetic, relentless world full of school runs, making dinners and juggling commitments. So just stop for a moment and ask yourself some more questions:
If you could wave a magic wand, what three things would you like to change?
What would be different in your life if these problems were gone?
How could you make a start on making these things begin to happen - what would you need to do or say? What small tasks could you delegate this week that would free up a little more of your time and help you feel less stressed? ( e.g. get the kids to lay the table, bring down their washing basket or feed the dogs)
Who else could you ask to help you? (Your partner, mother-in-law, or friend and who else could you bring in to help you with the cleaning, ironing or babysitting?
What would be the benefits to you and your family as a whole if you delegated and shared out some of your jobs and responsibilities?
How could you encourage your family to become more independent and what would they learn from becoming more independent long term?
What will happen if you don’t make some changes?
One of the key things that seems to slip by when you have kids is “me” time and I encourage all the parents I work with, to find some more “me” time as it replenishes your energy, re-charges your batteries, so you don’t run on empty, and lifts your spirit.
Your children will reap the benefits of seeing you happier, more fulfilled and living a more balanced lifestyle.
So draw yourself a quick sketch of a wheel, and fill out things you’d like to do with your new free time: run a hot luxurious bubble bath with scented candles and soak in it with your favourite music drinking a glass of wine, go for a long walk, meet up with a friend for a chat, or perhaps watch a romantic film?
Just relax and enjoy thinking about some lovely things you would enjoy doing and write them down without feeling guilty. Then you could choose to do one thing every day or each week and pop it in your diary so it won’t get hijacked. Now you will have something to look forward to!
Being a Mum is an honour, pleasure and a joy but it can also become exhausting, stressful and overwhelming if you don’t make a habit of looking after yourself too.
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Sue Atkins runs a parent coaching company, Positive Parents – Confident Kids.