Stagger by Rhianon

Stagger looks mean, dark and ugly. People are afraid of Stagger and run away from him. Even the police are convinced he's a bad guy and take pot shots at him. But, my son informs me of his new superhero persona, Stagger has a heart of gold. He's a hero who steals from the rich to give to the poor, but he's misunderstood and further cursed by the fact that he can only come out at night...

So here's how my script goes for this game. I say 'it's nightime now, time for bed' then wait for a few minutes until ds1 is in hiding. Then 'what's that moving in the undergrowth? I'm scared and my heart is beating faster. Oh no! It's Stagger!'

We then have a scene of varied length and plot where the silent, misunderstood Stagger rushes forward and helps me in some way, then I wail 'oh Stagger, thank you! I don't know what I'd do without you!' before the police/ army/ other superheros chase him away to his dark, sorry den. Poor Stagger.

As directors go, ds1's quite the perfectionist. If I deviate from the script or don't use the right intonation, he mercilessly starts us all over again. Yesterday, just for kicks, I counted: we played this scene 41 times. Years ago, I played a zombie extra in Shaun of the Dead. Moaning, dragging my feet and lolling my head - I can easily say it was the most tedious experience of my life because we had to play the same scene 14 times over 16 hours to get the right light (and I was grumpy because the makeup lady agreed with me when I joked I'd just had a baby and might not need much make-up. Still smarts.). But at least we got lots of encouragement, tea breaks and a good lunch. I've taken advice and I'm joining a union.

So what's up with Sid? How come this new guy Andy's doing Get Set Go!? And how did they get him on those credits so accurately? Honestly, the inside story of the cbeebies presenters is one soap I'd love to watch...